Most movies run the gambit in quality from mediocre to pretty good. Every so often a movie is great, and a few films manage, despite a great deal of effort and money, to be terrible. Once in a few years, a film arrives on screen that manages to stand out, even with other great movies (many critics are saying Boyhood might be one of those films, you can watch it and decide for yourself).
However, as many movie goers familiar with M. Night Shyamalan's recent work know, there are also some movies so bad, so transcendently awful, so magically inscrutable, they manage to jump to the other end of the quality spectrum and become just as entertaining as the excellent movies. Sometimes a film is just so terrible, it becomes good. More than good, it can be great. One of my favorite films is in this category. The same might be true for you as well. This is the first installment in a series that could potentially be very long.
Note: Some terrible movies are god-awful because the film is lazy or basically engineered to suck. Those, generally, are unwatchable (see Transformers franchise).
The Happening-currently at a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes
Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel tried their hardest to make this good. The infamous Mr. Shyamalan did as well, I assume. It was to little avail. If you haven't heard of The Happening, it is a adventure-horror flick based around the idea that nature has had enough of pollution. The premise is even a fairly creative one. Plants have begun excreting a pollen (or something) that makes people commit suicide. Could be kinda cool if done well, right? We will really never know. The dialogue is so honky it's funny. Characters speak out of character constantly, state the obvious, and talk to fake trees (below).
Interestingly, the most fun in watching The Happening comes from the idea that is supposed to inspire the greatest amount of fear: the death sequences. The suicides in The Happening are so absurd it almost seems like creative genius. In one instance, a violinist is hit with the sickness mid-recital and proceeds to attempt to swallow his bow. It's great.
The Happening is a movie I strongly regret not seeing in the theatre. A friend of mine had the privilege of catching it right as it came out, so the theatre was packed. He related to me the experience of seeing it as one of the best he'd ever had in a theatre. The whole audience, one by one, slowly realized the utter horribleness of what they were watching and united to insult and make-fun of every terrible scene that came on screen. The Happening, it turns out, is a movie that brings people together.
The Room is owning every discussion of bad movies I've heard recently, and this movie certainly deserves a shot, so watch The Happening. Check out the clip below for a taste.
Also, watching with the RiffTrax commentary is a great idea. The MST3K people are doing god's work.
One of the movie-going public's favorite things to see a good fight. Usually the hero(s) and the villain(s) have finally come face to face. Sometimes, it's the hero showing up a low-level rival to set off the rest of the movie. Either way, these scenes are awesome to watch. I could make twenty more unique lists in this theme without trying very hard, but these fights are great without a doubt.
12. Roadhouse
Not enough people in my generation (I'm 21) have seen Roadhouse or even a Patrick Swayze movie besides Dirty Dancing.However, those who have will never forget this scene. The greatness here doesn't just come from technical prowess but more-so from pure confidence and style. It's classic cheesy Swayze at his best. The mullets alone are reason enough to watch this movie.
11. Warrior
I reviewedWarrior just yesterday and immediately started looking for fights that could match the one shown below. That's how this list was born. No doubt one of the most satisfying elements of some of these fights is an opponent who didn't take the hero seriously getting shown up. Warrior definitely qualifies as having one of those moments.
10. Kung-Fu Hustle
Okay, so this one is admittedly pretty strange, but the eccentricities of a scene can be what make it so awesome. Kung-Fu Hustle sticks to this magical realism/exaggerated style throughout the whole movie, and that's what makes it such a pleasure to watch.
9. Casino Royale
Daniel Craig's first fight as James Bond shows why audiences have continued to love the Bond character for so many years. His inaugural confrontation feels real and intimate and so immediately connects us to this new iteration of Bond. The contrast between black and white and the color of the battle sequence makes the conflict that much more intense.
8. The Legend of Drunken Master
Jackie Chan always kicks ass. A lot of his movies could have ended up on this list. He can consistently come up with innovative, often goofy techniques to defeat his enemies. As such, leaving Jackie off this list would be a mistake. I briefly considered a Rush Hour 2 scene, but then I remembered Drunken Master and the search was over.
7. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon CTHD is one of the most critically acclaimed martial arts movies of all time. The use of wire effects to create otherwise impossible fight choreography was the best of its kind. However, besides wire-fu, Crouching Tiger had some excellent and more traditional confrontations.
6. Rocky IV Rocky IV might be the most undeniably American fight on this list. Anti-Russian sentiment was obviously pretty high in the 1980s when this movie came rolling down the shoot. However, if you look past the nationalism, Sylvester Stalone's match against Dolf Lundgren is obviously an excellent brawl. If you dislike Ivan Drago because he's a jerk who killed Apollo Creed and not because he's Russian it's not racist, right? Either way, remember, "no pain!"
5. No Country for Old Men
Chigurh from No Country for Old Men has to be one of the creepiest villains of all time. For some reason that haircut made him seem so alien. His ruthlessness is unmatched, and I always wondered if the old man kept the coin. I won't spoil the ending of this movie for those who haven't seen it, but this fight isn't it. I would strongly recommend you watch this if only to experience Javier Bardem's award winning performance.
4. Gladiator
This is the quintessential arena fight in the best Graeco-Roman action film in the last fifteen years. Maximus rallies his troops and rewrites history when he defeats the mighty Carthaginian chariot riders. Many other films have tried to equal this by using considerable CGI and giving their protagonists godlike powers. However, they simply can't measure up to the precision involved the Gladiator arena.
3. Jet Li's Fearless Fearless has so many good brawls it was hard to pick just one. Go read my review for more info. This brawl against a rival master so epically wrecks the restaurant it's held in, the battle just had to earn a high spot on this list.
2. Borne Ultimatum
Jason Borne was ambushed several times during his tenure as a renegade Treadstone agent. However, on this occasion he had surprise on his side. Kind of. This fight, a lot like Casino Royale's opening tussle, is close quarters and very intimate. Both Borne and Desh use nearly everything around them as a weapon, so it's no surprise that their entanglement ended with a bath towel.
1. The Matrix
Some of you may have seen this one coming. It's simply impossible to ignore the perfection of this sequence. When you watch everything leading up to it, the moment when Neo decides not to run and gives Agent Smith that stare is even better. I wonder how many people with the last name Anderson had to endure Agent Smith impressions after this hit theaters.
For those of who are disappointed that a Bruce Lee movie didn't make the cut, his films were a little too old. The Matrix almost wasn't on the list because it came out in '99. Maybe in a few weeks, I could put together a list of the best vintage fights, and Bruce Lee would most likely be on there more than once.
Mad Max: Fury Road premiered another trailer at comic con, and it was awesome. In the wake of Tom Hardy kickin' some ass again (he just came of a really interesting, but tame solo project called Locke, which I should re-watch and review at some point), it seemed appropriate to go back and watch his high point as a budding action star. This heated up in 2011 with Warrior.
Warrior is a fairly conventional sports movie. Two estranged brothers enter a Mixed Martial Arts contest. Brendan Conlan (Joel Edgerton) is a classic underdog trying to earn money for his family. He makes his way through the tournament by outworking his opponents and generally being scrappy. Brendan's fights are a lot of fun, and you find yourself scared for him a few times, a testament to a solid performance from Joel Edgerton.
His brother-Tommy (Tom Hardy) is more or less the opposite of his brother. He is a loner with no friends and a vague past. Tommy essentially goes around and beats the tar out of anyone foolish enough to challenge him. This leads to, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest ass-kicking sequences in recent cinematic history (see below).
In the middle of this is their father: Paddy Conlon (Nick Nolte). He's a recovering alcoholic and both brothers aren't looking to reconcile anytime soon. Paddy Conlon is the most compelling aspect of Warrior. He gives the movie a strong emotional core and Nick Nolte's Academy Award nomination was well deserved. Paddy's pain and regret about what he's done to alienate both his sons is heartbreaking at times.
Warrior comes together nicely at the end. Viewers will be satisfied, if not entirely surprised by the outcome.
Here is the aforementioned fight scene. If disagree with me and think it's no good, send your complaints to Michael Bay.
Tom Hardy has proven his action chops before in movies like Bronson, Dark Knight Rises, and Warrior. Now he's starring in a reboot of another beloved action franchise: Mad Max: Fury Road. If it's anything like some of his other projects, Fury Road could be the start of something great. Check out the trailer below:
At its outset, The League seemed like it would be another generic comedy show that delivered one or two big laughs but never really blossomed into anything worth your time. The premise of a bunch of guys addicted to fantasy football doesn't seem very fresh. However, The League quite quickly showed its true colors as a comedic force. Itmay never reach the heights of Louie or Modern Family, but The League is an oft ignored laughter goldmine. The writers consistently come up with engaging plots, and the cast is fantastic.
It is difficult to pin down which character brings the most laughter. Andre, Paul Scheer, is a classic dope. He is consistently and hilariously lame. The best thing about Andre is he gives everyone else a nice big target to aim at. Taco, Jon Lajoie, is also excellent. He is the Kramer of the group. His mannerisms are so strange that either the writers are creative masterminds or he is based on a real person (also like Kramer, thanks to Cracked for this).
Everyone brings something to the table. Comedy Central made a great choice giving the man who plays Ruxin, Nick Kroll, his own show. On The Kroll Show, he brings to life a ton of different characters and is joined by a recurring star on The League: Jason Mantzoukas.
Mantzoukas' character: Rafi is my nomination for best character on The League. He comes on screen like an whirlwind of depravity fueled by equal parts drugs and innate insanity. Rafi's sole purpose is to be endlessly disgusting and horrible and somehow it has become the highlight of an already great show.
My feud with Michael Bay continues to grow. Ok, this isn't a feud because a feud technically requires both parties to be aware of its existence. However, as I stated a while ago, Michael Bay is just awful. I considered just making an article on how bad he is for the movie industry, but I don't really need to state the obvious. Anyway...
Poor Mark Wahlberg. Michael Bay really is trying to ruin you, isn't he? I just re-watched Pain and Gain, Michael Bay's previous movie that didn't involve weird racist robots, in order to study up on what not to do when creating a movie. It was pretty forgettable. It was so forgettable, that I just now realized Marky Mark starred in both Transmorphers 4 and P&G.
This is going to be a short post, because I want to occupy my mind with a movie less awful than Transformers 4-insert literally any other movie here. I like Wahlberg as an actor. He needs to spend more time working on the Entourage movie, which has a chance at being pretty good in a guilty pleasure sort of way, and less time with Michael Bay. Hopefully, I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Because he's talented. Here's Mark being Dignam, because why not.
The BBC is consistently coming out with excellent television. There are too many great shows to mention them all here, but these 3 are perhaps the best.
Note: For purposes of respect, I'll try my hardest to say series instead of season in this article. It won't be easy...
The New Doctor Who
Not watching Doctor Who has often been one of the biggest gaps in my TV knowledge. However, thanks the never-ending brilliance of the BBC, there is another iteration of the Doctor coming to TV. Peter Capaldi (The Thick of It, In the Loop) is fantastic and everyone who is up to date on the show seems extremely excited. Doctor Who is next on my to-watch list, and it should be on yours too.
Here's an awesome preview to get you pumped:
Luther Movie
For fans of extremely intense police procedurals, look no further than Luther. The unforgettable Idris Elba plays DCI John Luther, a ruthless detective who craftily handles some of the most unnerving villains you're likely to find on TV.
Season 3 just finished airing a few days ago, and unfortunately it will be the program's last series. Ruth Wilson, who plays Alice Morgan, a sociopathic killer who became something of an anti-hero; is getting a spin-off show which should be good. However, the best news of all is the upcoming Luther is getting a movie to cap off the events of series 3.
Some TV shows don't lend themselves to movies very well. Infamously, a few TV executives, who should find other work, wanted to turn Game of Thrones into several movies, thank god that didn't happen. However, Luther translates nicely to the big screen. He is a deliberate character, and the episodes are all almost an hour long already. It shouldn't be too much of a stretch.
Sherlock's Future
It seems like Sherlock is everyone American's favorite drama from across the pond. There are several good reasons for this. Two of them being Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock Holmes) and Martin Freeman (Dr. Watson).
Just like Luther, Sherlock has very long episodes. It is been on TV for a long time, and will likely finish with a feature film. However, that won't be for at least two years. An extra long special is shooting in early 2015, and with another series on the way later in the year.
I can't offer much in the way of predictive content, but here is a best-of Sherlock that will have to do for now.
