You see, in 2007, Uwe Boll released the movie Postal and more than a few critics were somewhat repulsed by how painstakingly dreadful it was. On Rotten Tomatoes, Postal has been holding steady at a 7% approval rating. Postal was so uniquely bad, it did not even succeed in being comical, like The Happening or The Room managed to do.
In response to the bad reviews, Boll went on a furious diatribe and, among other things, called Mr. Bay a "fu8ing retard", even though Bay had not said a word about any of his movies once. Bay's response was surprisingly calm and articulate, a characteristic that has certainly never been used to describe his films. "I find that people who rant like that...comes from someone screaming because he is not being heard. He is obviously a sad being."
So Michael Bay is measured and pitying when it comes to Uwe Boll. That might make you assume, correctly so, that the man is a piece of work. This article isn't meant to be a full biography of Uwe Boll, but here a few telling things about a director who is more than simply bad at his job, he is a malignant blight on the movie industry.
First off, quite a few of Boll's movies are based of relatively unknown video games. Indeed, if he was even marginally talented, there is every chance he could have made a household name for himself several years ago. In 2008, the video game developer Blizzard was seriously looking for experienced people to produce a movie about their hit release World of Warcraft. WoW, as it was known, was so popular at the time any movie about it would probably be an instant hit. Boll, naturally, jumped at the chance; it probably would have netted him a lot of money, and, in terms of video game film experience, he had a certain claim to be the right man for the job. By 2008, Boll had released or was producing a total of 9 movies derived from video games. Blizzard, however, was less than excited about the prospect of working with Boll. Upon receiving his application to direct their film, Blizzard, notoriously protective of their games, responded, "Never...we will not sell the movie rights to you...especially not to you." If you watch Boll's movies, Blizzard made a wise choice.
In 2006, Boll made an announcement that should have been a signal to the world at large that he was at least somewhat disconnected with reality and should never be allowed shoot a home video, let alone earn a living making feature films. Whenever Boll unleashed another one of his cinematic atrocities on the planet, critics all over the world were united, for once, in their distaste of the movie (I like to think I would have been part of that noble group back then, and certainly will be soon if I can sit through his segment of the The Profane Basement coming soon to a few desperate theaters and the internet). Boll was, understandably, more than displeased by the veritable hailstorm of horrendous reviews his movies consistently received. In fact, he was so incensed, that he, completely seriously, challenged his harshest critics to a series of 10 round boxing matches. He was, for the most part, ignored or mocked. However, a few critics accepted his challenge. Boll, as it turns out, is something of a fighting guru, because he beat most of them senseless. This did little more than send a few people to the hospital and worsen Boll's image. However, another filmmaker decided to make a short documentary about the incident cleverly titled Raging Boll. It wasn't Citizen Kane but Raging Boll certainly was the best film Uwe was ever involved in.
Finally, the probably most telling fact about Boll is that he is responsible for what is almost certainly one of the most in-bad-taste scenes in recent film history. Boll's most well known movie (still very obscure for most people) Postal, nearly featured a virtually unbelievable opening sequence parodying the September 11th terror attacks in which passengers overcome the hijackers but ultimately unwittingly crash the plane into a tower anyway.
It is shocking enough to consider that anyone would compose such a scene at all, but all the more audacious when you consider the release date of Postal was less than 7 years after the terror attacks occurred. America didn't even have a new president yet. Upon further inspection, two details make it crazier still. Postal was in various stages of production for two years. Given the time it would take a writer as implausibly bad as Boll to write a treatment and accomplish the extraordinary feat of securing $15 million dollars of funding for a script that wasn't worth 15 cents, he must have decided to parody 9/11 less than 4 years after it happened. Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of this film is that Postal's assistant director, Dave Folley, had to urge Boll at great length to remove the offending scene. Boll insisted that America was portraying 9/11 victims in too positive a light and the scene would help to correct that. He ultimately relented when Folley made the argument that many, if not all, theaters in America would refuse to show the movie if it contained the scene in question. Boll still included this "secret scene" in the DVD release. You can watch below, but it's somewhat stomach churning.
My point, in all of this, is an attempt to seriously convey the message, do not see this man's movies. Every cent that he earns is a bad thing for people everywhere. He perpetuates an insensitive culture that is far worse than the smashy insanity of Transformers or juvenile gross out porn from movies like Grown Ups. Any person who believes the scene above is "good for America to see" needs serious help. Do the world a favor and watch an indy.
In response to the bad reviews, Boll went on a furious diatribe and, among other things, called Mr. Bay a "fu8ing retard", even though Bay had not said a word about any of his movies once. Bay's response was surprisingly calm and articulate, a characteristic that has certainly never been used to describe his films. "I find that people who rant like that...comes from someone screaming because he is not being heard. He is obviously a sad being."
So Michael Bay is measured and pitying when it comes to Uwe Boll. That might make you assume, correctly so, that the man is a piece of work. This article isn't meant to be a full biography of Uwe Boll, but here a few telling things about a director who is more than simply bad at his job, he is a malignant blight on the movie industry.
First off, quite a few of Boll's movies are based of relatively unknown video games. Indeed, if he was even marginally talented, there is every chance he could have made a household name for himself several years ago. In 2008, the video game developer Blizzard was seriously looking for experienced people to produce a movie about their hit release World of Warcraft. WoW, as it was known, was so popular at the time any movie about it would probably be an instant hit. Boll, naturally, jumped at the chance; it probably would have netted him a lot of money, and, in terms of video game film experience, he had a certain claim to be the right man for the job. By 2008, Boll had released or was producing a total of 9 movies derived from video games. Blizzard, however, was less than excited about the prospect of working with Boll. Upon receiving his application to direct their film, Blizzard, notoriously protective of their games, responded, "Never...we will not sell the movie rights to you...especially not to you." If you watch Boll's movies, Blizzard made a wise choice.
In 2006, Boll made an announcement that should have been a signal to the world at large that he was at least somewhat disconnected with reality and should never be allowed shoot a home video, let alone earn a living making feature films. Whenever Boll unleashed another one of his cinematic atrocities on the planet, critics all over the world were united, for once, in their distaste of the movie (I like to think I would have been part of that noble group back then, and certainly will be soon if I can sit through his segment of the The Profane Basement coming soon to a few desperate theaters and the internet). Boll was, understandably, more than displeased by the veritable hailstorm of horrendous reviews his movies consistently received. In fact, he was so incensed, that he, completely seriously, challenged his harshest critics to a series of 10 round boxing matches. He was, for the most part, ignored or mocked. However, a few critics accepted his challenge. Boll, as it turns out, is something of a fighting guru, because he beat most of them senseless. This did little more than send a few people to the hospital and worsen Boll's image. However, another filmmaker decided to make a short documentary about the incident cleverly titled Raging Boll. It wasn't Citizen Kane but Raging Boll certainly was the best film Uwe was ever involved in.
Finally, the probably most telling fact about Boll is that he is responsible for what is almost certainly one of the most in-bad-taste scenes in recent film history. Boll's most well known movie (still very obscure for most people) Postal, nearly featured a virtually unbelievable opening sequence parodying the September 11th terror attacks in which passengers overcome the hijackers but ultimately unwittingly crash the plane into a tower anyway.
It is shocking enough to consider that anyone would compose such a scene at all, but all the more audacious when you consider the release date of Postal was less than 7 years after the terror attacks occurred. America didn't even have a new president yet. Upon further inspection, two details make it crazier still. Postal was in various stages of production for two years. Given the time it would take a writer as implausibly bad as Boll to write a treatment and accomplish the extraordinary feat of securing $15 million dollars of funding for a script that wasn't worth 15 cents, he must have decided to parody 9/11 less than 4 years after it happened. Perhaps the most remarkable aspect of this film is that Postal's assistant director, Dave Folley, had to urge Boll at great length to remove the offending scene. Boll insisted that America was portraying 9/11 victims in too positive a light and the scene would help to correct that. He ultimately relented when Folley made the argument that many, if not all, theaters in America would refuse to show the movie if it contained the scene in question. Boll still included this "secret scene" in the DVD release. You can watch below, but it's somewhat stomach churning.
My point, in all of this, is an attempt to seriously convey the message, do not see this man's movies. Every cent that he earns is a bad thing for people everywhere. He perpetuates an insensitive culture that is far worse than the smashy insanity of Transformers or juvenile gross out porn from movies like Grown Ups. Any person who believes the scene above is "good for America to see" needs serious help. Do the world a favor and watch an indy.
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